‘We can’t give away what we don’t have’, by Aidan Carroll

I am sure many of you will be familiar with this quote. I heard it many years ago myself, but every day I try get a deeper understanding of what it’s meaning. It may seem like a simple play on words and yet when put into practice has unmeasurable power. “We can’t give away what we don’t have”.

Of course the variables on this are endless. If you want money from me and I don’t have it to give you, I simply cannot give you what you need. You need water from me and my well is dry, how can I give you water!

In the context of this feature I want to look at giving love. I was presenting a seminar a few weeks back and I digressed (as I often do), I ended up speaking about the emphasis placed on the importance of wanting your children to be well educated, to be financially successful, to encourage them into third level education? and also asked why do the majority of people often ask within minutes of meeting you what you do for a living? “This is my daughter Mary, she is the CEO of Millionaires Inc.”, is often heard more than “this is my daughter Mary, she’s a fantastic cleaner who enjoys her work and I’m very proud of her’! And why does the conversation stop immediately if a celebrity walks in to the room?

I am learning every day, by listening to and starving my ego. It’s an ongoing task! An observation I now know to be a truth is: “A person’s true character is seen by how they treat someone who can do nothing for them”. How absurd is it to think you judge someone on what they have on the outside rather than what they have on the inside. The ego is really in control if you believe who you are is what you do for a living and what you have in your bank account.

Whenever I hire someone to work for me I ask to meet them in a coffee shop of their choosing. I don’t need to see a CV. I just want to see the authentic side of his/her character in a casual setting. A few years back a potential employee never got the position because of the way they spoke to the waiter in the coffee shop.

Something we are automatically born with – that’s free, but very often a struggle to give away…Love! Those who find it hard to give love away have allowed life’s experiences diminish their supply. They have become experts at negativity through years of repetition. There is always hope- we all have the power to change.

This egoistical side of our mind, known as the pain body. It seeks out drama, and feeds on negativity. It’s in all of us from birth, some have little or no control over it, then it gorges and becomes obese. The pain body is very cunning and is always looking for the next meal. It will feed whenever and wherever it can.

It particularly loves drama, gossip and slander and its ultimate goal is to erase all traces of love.
Ask yourself this…..(if you are inclined) why I feel the need to read gossip magazines, watch EastEnders, violent movies, Jeremy Kyle etc. Does it fill your soul with love? Do you feel revived, invigorated and motivated after watching Mob Wives? I’m not judging, but these type programmes make me feel depressed and sad but come as a delight to my painbody!

Every life will have its tragedies; illness, accidents and deaths. The only power that will guide us through these harsh times is love.
Martial Arts has given me so much over the years, the most important thing is that constant repetition brings about a complete understanding in everything we do in life.
I have an endless supply of passion and love for what I teach. Without exception I always teach from a foundation of love and everyday I reap what I sow.

You must practice every day. First begin to love yourself. Treat your mind and body well. Nourish your body with real live food. Your brain food should be chosen wisely too! Jeremy Kyle TV is trash food for the brain and the pain body will grow. You must first have your own body and mind in balance before you can give love.

Feelings of envy, anger, jealousy, superiority, will rise up. To begin to control them we must first acknowledge them for what they are – Egotistical feeling of hunger needing to feed your pain body. A simple everyday throw away comment will snowball and gather momentum unless we acknowledge it and then erase it. How often do you hear people (often in Ireland) saying how terrible the rain is, the same people will complain how hot it is in the summer. They are often complaining of being tired when in fact they are just sad. Sad, because on a subconscious level they know the pain body is growing bigger every day. We all have the power to change. But the change must begin from within you.